Colombia has always been a conservative, right-leaning country, but in 2022, it elected the former guerilla turned socialist wacko Gustavo Petro. It hasn’t had a good time ever since, whether it’s been economic struggles or the fact that el presidente has attempted to curb violence in the country by sharing hugs and popsicles and rainbows with terrorist groups through his “total piece” plan.
When he’s not doing any of that, he’s usually on social media talking about how well he can please a woman or how great he is at writing erotic poetry. Occasionally, he throws in some anti-United States, anti-Israel, or anti-Donald Trump diatribe about imperialism. When he’s not on social media, he’s giving erratic speeches and chaotic interviews, or visiting the United States, where he likes to make a fool of himself. He’s been in our country three times over the past six months.
The first time, he stood outside the UN on the streets of New York with Roger Waters and called for the U.S. military to rise up against Donald Trump. The State Department threatened to take away his visa, though it’s not clear now whether it ever did. The second time was earlier this year when he reluctantly called Donald Trump up for an in-person meeting after he saw what Trump did to Petro’s pal, Nicolás Maduro. Trump made him use the back door. The third time was this past Friday when he spoke at Jesse Jackson’s funeral, and by spoke, I mean carried on so long that he had to be shuffled off the stage.